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If ever I did have the courage to get a tattoo, me thinks this would be lovely:

(Pinterest) Pinned by Hot Strong Coffee onto Tattoo inspiration for all things angel wings and feathers from flickr.com

 Alright, so enough of the feeling miserable.  Instead, let’s take a tour of the sites and sounds that inspire me, shall we?

Queen of Tarts in Observatory, Cape Town. I love what Tina Bester has created here.  I’ve not had the pleasure of visiting this coffee shop come haven of yummilicious food, but I hear good things.  Besides, who wouldn’t want to live in an apartment just above one’s coffee shop?

Celtis Lodge. Stone labyrinth.  Need I say more?

Zenobias Coffee & Art, on the main road through Rustenburg, as you drive towards the Magaliesburg.  This is a quaint little coffee shop that we pop into for breakfast or lunch on our way to Celtis Lodge.  I love that they have little wooden puzzles on each table… them puzzles can keep you occupied for quite some time… before you know it, the homely food has arrived.

Just Ginns. A lifestyle store, they say. A naughty place to go when I want to spend some time just soaking up the quirkiness of beautiful and unusual things, I say.

 i want that – I discovered this website purely by accident, but my goodness… do they have some beautiful stuff there… 

There’s also Pinterest… naughy, naughty, bad website…

Maya Prass . OMG! Can this woman design beautiful clothing! I adore the way she combines colour and print.  It’s such a pity her store is in Constantia, Cape Town.  Oh well, between Queen of Tarts and Maya Prass, I may just have enough reason to move to Cape Town.  (And let me not forget the Moreton Bay Fig tree in Arderne Gardens, Claremont.)

Jane Griffiths… maybe it has something to do with my parents having been raised growing their own food, but the idea of having a vegetable garden is very appealing. I bought a copy of Jane’s book Jane’s Delicious Garden some time ago, and I have been dreaming ever since.  (Mind you, my little herb garden in coming along quite famously.)

At yet, the most awesome, amazing, fabulous, joyful and inspiring thing in my life is watching, and being apart of Sophia’s journey.  My little baba is growing so beautifully!  I still get a little dizzy when I try to get my head around the fact that my beloved and I created such a beautifully little munchkin… I have love… I mean, how can you not love this:

I think I’m having a midlife crisis… actually, I’ve probably been having a midlife crisis for a good ten years now…

You see, I’m bored. Life is boring… and dull… and jaded… and uneventful (well, yes – there is stuff happening in my life, but very little of it is bright and happy and cheerful… a lot of it is about my brother and sister in law being hijacked (okay, granted, their withdrawing all their pennies in cash before emigrating to France instead of getting traveller’s cheques was probably not the most inspired idea and it probably did prompt said hijacker dudes to rob them blind and bring their whole world crashing down…) or my father’s business not doing too well (he’s in his sixties, for heaven’s sake… he should not have to work like he does… he looks so tired…) or my sister’s ongoing angst since her divorce or my husband’s stress at work… or… well… family stuff… you understand…).

The perplexing thing is that none of this has anything to do with me… in the sense that I can’t change it… and yet I feel caught up in it all… trapped somehow… caught up in other people’s stuff…

I feel like I’m at a crossroads…

You see, I feel like something needs to change, and that change will be prompted by a choice that I need to make…

Do I stay at my current job (it pays the bills, helpful that), or do I start to look for a job that feeds my soul significantly more… or do I start my own thing (I have no clue what the would be, but it would probably involve the making of pretty things)… or do I start studying again… and if I start studying again, should I study something in design (I wanted to be a costume designer when I was a little person…) or do I go into healing (family constellation therapy still fascinates me)… or…

Reading about other people who have made, what seems like, a beautiful life is not working for me anymore… Collecting the Home and Ideas magazines in the hopes of one day creating all of these wonderful things isn’t working for me anymore…

So, I’m stuck… now what?

Perhaps the biggest challenge is coming to a place of peace around what one actually wants out of life… What do I actually want to create? (Notice the blank expression on my face… does this tell you something?)