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This blog was meant to be about ‘my wanting to live life fully,  about romance… about feeling nostalgic… about nurturing my child, my family, myself… about expressing creativity… fulfilling long-held dreams… and occasionally getting a little silly too…’

But somehow I don’t feel like that’s happened.  Of course, a blog can only be a reflection of a life, so clearly that means my life isn’t what I’d like it to be.  Now, please understand – it’s not that I’m unhappy as such… I’m just disappointed at how mundane life is…

But there is hope… As I wondered why it is that my life isn’t the exciting, exuberant, spontaneous, creative, joyful and adventurous life that I imagined, the universe sent some messages…

Message one: I came across a blog post by Ben Casnocha about how to draw an owl.  It appealed to my sense of humour.  And yet, there was the message.  He explains “One interpretation of the image and caption is that it reinforces how some folks perceive the progression from novice to expert:

Stage 1: You suck.
Stage 2: You’re an expert.

In fact, mastering a skill involves hundreds of stages of incremental improvement over a very long period of time. I believe a key reason so many people on the road to mastery call it quits is not because drawing a beautiful owl in pencil is superhumanly hard. It’s because they thought it would be easy.”

I’m actually one of the folks who thinks drawing an owl (or doing anything that I’ve never done before) is going to be superhumanly hard… I quite literally terrify myself into not trying at all… for fear I’ll be terrible at it.  My thinking goes something like this: “Seriously, I can’t just be amazingly brilliant at everything… just like that… I really do have to make a start (any start… just start somewhere… anywhere!)… hmmm… I really do have to practise, put some time and effort into it…?  Well… that’s inconvenient!  Here I was hoping I’d get away with being amazing by sheer willpower.”

Turns out being human doesn’t work like that.  Nope… there are no plug-a-play programmes out there… the makers of ‘The Matrix’ lied… One has to learn by doing… It sucks… doesn’t it?  (Yes, yes, I know – learning how to do something is part of the adventure… I know… I get it… I’m just intimidated by making mistakes… and the concepts of endurance and discipline are a little foreign to me…)

There, see… I said it… out loud… (ouch…)

Message two: I read an article in our company newsletter that was based on a blog post by Christine Kane about setting New Year’s resolutions. Ms Kane proposes that the reason most resolutions don’t work is because they address only one level of our lives – the do level.  Most of us follow the dohavebe model (which goes like so: “I will do this thing, (plant herbs) so that I can have this other thing (a tranquil garden) and I can be this thing (nurturing).”  The average resolution doesn’t address the core issue – the be level.  She suggests that life is better lived by following the bedohave model, which goes like so: Be the thing (nurturing) by doing the thing (plant herbs) to have the thing (a tranquil garden).  Starting at the be level creates positive change in one’s life because your inspired thinking guides your action.  When you begin changing on the be level, then the do level and have levels follow.

Okay… I can do that… I think…

Message three: I went to a kinesiology session today.  (No, I’m not going to explain how kinesiology works… let’s just say it’s a therapy that works on an energetic level, and it works for me because my mind doesn’t have the opportunity to talk circles around my psyche. ‘nough said.)  Anyway – we uncovered a little gem during said session.  The gem: I live in a box (no, not a real box – we’re talking figuratively here)… and I’ve only ever peaked out the box… mostly because I was told that it’s a horrible, scary place out there, and I tend to believe people (I mean, why would they lie?).  I was always under the impression that if I left the box, I wouldn’t be able to go back to it… to the sense of safety that it provides.  But, this is not so.  It seems I can choose to leave the box, build ladders, staircases and bridges from it to other places… and it’s okay.  I can always go back to the box, if I want to.  Who knew?

So, if you put that altogether:

– it’s okay to leave our space of safety because we can choose to go back if we want to,

– being creates the energy to sustain the doing and the having,

– the doing happens over time, with consistent effort… it really is okay to make mistakes in order to gain mastery of something… just start, have a little faith in your ability, and the rest takes care of itself…